Take a Moment – is our authenticity inside out?

I think we’ve got the wrong end of the stick about authenticity.  Bear with me, this is a rough copy.  Not along my usual lines of edited almost scripted words.

Authenticity…It’s a trend word at the moment, but what does it actually mean?

I hear rumblings about it especially amongst people who don’t really understand blogging; its not ‘real life’, be ‘authentic’.  We’re accused of showing our showreel only and not our real selves.

I think authenticity has taken a wrong turn and I for one am all in a twist about it.

Search yourself, are you being authentic? Am I?

I’ve searched myself and found myself wanting.

My motive is always to inspire, motivate and evoke positive change.  So why do I mostly miss the mark.  Fail before I even begin?  Because I’m not straight forward with what I think.  My brow is creased, I worry about upsetting, about confronting.  So I stay silent or skirt around the issue.

I’m silenced by what other people think authenticity is all about. When the motive is simply to say whatever the hell they like without thought to the consequences that is not being authentic.

I don’t want to be that person. So I stay quiet.

Have we got authenticity inside out, upside down and a over t?

What if being authentic had nothing to do with what we say?  What if being authentic has everything to do with who are inside?

Our identity.

Who we are at the very core.

Is it about knowing ourselves and who we’re made to be and then living that out?

I think so.

Jesus said ‘let your words be few’.  If our words are to be few then how can we SHOW our authenticity?  In this world of constant communication and commentary about how we feel, we all seem to say an awful lot but what do all these words do?

Sometimes they help and sometimes they confuse.

I think being authentic has a lot to do with ‘doing’ and ‘actions speaking louder than words’.   Do you do what you say you will do? When you speak do you say what you want to say with respect? Show yourself as being trustworthy? Being open to a difference of opinion?

Or do you fire people down? Always needing to be right.

Maybe as a blogger I have a few more words than some and believe me I have far less than some others.  There are SO many things I want to say and don’t, if only you could see in my head! As a none confrontational person I am not convinced I can handle the barrage.

Some people don’t seem to have a mute button and say off the cuff remarks that cannot be taken back.  They hurt, they maim with their words, the overriding motive to be be right, over anything else.

Moaning, cursing, ranting especially annoys me. I’m not talking about one off problems, we all have issues that arise and sometimes they need to be aired, my mum can’t understand any of it, in her day it was airing your dirty laundry in public.

The same old moans, over and over and over again.  Complaining.

Are you being real because you’re complaining? Authentic even? Or are you actually just having a moan and calling it being real?

I think there are people out there who blast their mouths off without thought of anyone else and claim they’re being authentic.

I think the important thing is to be who you are! That wonderful YOU that you were made to be.  Don’t know who that is?  Ask and it will be given to you, seek and you will find.

While being respectful, kind, and sensitive to other people.  Find out who you are and what you stand for.

Let that small voice come out.  SPEAK UP.  Let your words be few, be gentle, be brave, get to the point and listen, hear, pray before reacting.

If your motive is to be right over being real? Then that is not authenticity in my eyes.  I don’t want to join that debate.

In order to really influence then I need to state (quite plainly) my case.  Not easy!

And then get ready, steel myself almost, for what might or might not follow.  For opinions for and the opinions against.  Debate when it’s healthy and productive is to be welcomed. Yes I may get attacked for it.

I’ve always thought that I have the ability to see both sides, to weigh up everything in a balance, to see the grey areas.  No wonder I don’t speak.  Not easy to make a decision about what you think when you’re constantly weighing. Weights are heavy.

Are authenticity and vulnerability combined??  There’s another humdinger of a question! Can we be our authentic selves without letting our vulnerability show through?

What about self care and authenticity? If we don’t know ourselves and how to be the best versions of that, then how can we be authentic or claim to be??

Then there’s authenticity and me, I’m a christian and yet I hardly talk about my faith through fear of what people will think or say.  I don’t want to get to old age and people not know what that means to me.

So I guess what I’m saying is you might be hearing my small voice speaking up.  With respect, love and peace resonating out of my words, not out of a want to be right.  Just to be part of the conversation, as me.  Not perfect, probably not right.  Authentic.

What do you think being authentic is really all about?

Lizzie xo

6 thoughts on “Take a Moment – is our authenticity inside out?”

  1. I like this Lizzie. I think you are right…it is about finding out who we really are and not pretending to be something we aren’t just to please others, or deceive ourselves! We all pretend to a certain extent…less so the more we let people in. And that is a very vulnerable place to be. It takes guts! (The bit about always needing to be right struck a chord with me too!) But how else can we become the people we are meant to be if we don’t expose our insecurities and invite people we trust to walk with us and support us…?

  2. I love this so much Lizzie-you are authentic and here’s the thing I think the authentic voice of others online is easy to gauge-we are all selective about what we publish, that doesn’t mean it’s real, it just means we are in control and can shape what we want to share and how the world sees us, I think we do that IRL too (for example there are personal things that are happening in my life I don’t want to share on my blog or are not my story and that’s OK too).

    Blogging and social media gives everyone a voice and platform which is wonderfully democratic but this freedom can also be abused. We are all humanly flawed, we all make mistakes of course- but there will always be people- trolls who are so damaged and insecure, they seek to hurt others out of spite and jealousy and publicly too.

    Keep being you, spreading love, being proud of your faith and trust your voice. Not everyone likes me and I’m cool with that. I like me. I have ‘real’ friends from blogging and life who get me but I don’t expect everyone to. The power is in us to keep strong. My great friend Harriet Thorpe gave me some great advice recently and is sat in drafts in a post waiting to go live: ‘What other people think of you is none of your business’. Brilliant huh. Love you x

  3. Can’t agree with you more Vicki, I’m learning more and more that it’s okay to be me and if people don’t likey well it’s no worries from me. I have to deal the fear and do it anyway. I have things to say, as you do, that need to be said and fear of being wrong shouldn’t stop that. Love your authentic voice too. Keep doing and can’t wait to read that post!!! Xo

  4. So true Julie thank you. It’s interesting what you say about being vulnerable with those we trust, as a blogger we’re being vulnerable to the masses and it’s an extra consideration to think about. Love your comment about guts, praying for that! Xo

  5. Such a beautiful post. I love the way you are processing as you write and inviting others to get involved in the conversation xxx

  6. Like we’ve talked about before, it’s the journey and not the destination and sharing that journey that makes us authentic and real. Sometimes raw, always inspiring xo

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