I wasn’t expecting that

They say that parenthood doesn’t come with a manual, ain’t that the truth! Parenting is both easy and complex, the easiest and hardest job in the world.  I wasn’t expecting that.


When I had my first child I read every book on parenting babies I could lay my hands on.  Gina Ford, Jo Frost, Tracy Hogg.

What I couldn’t understand, is that my child didn’t want to fit into the routine I wanted him to fit into.

I trained and I trained, to no avail.  My eldest was and is his own person.  Funnily enough so is his sister.

Now I’m incredibly thankful that they don’t fit into the box I wanted to put them in.  I was trying to squash him, and by the time Little Miss came along I was much wiser and more chilled out *may have thrown books away*.

Thinking about my two pickles the other day as I picked stickers off of my rug for the 9,876,459 time I thought, “I wasn’t expecting that”…

When I was pregnant I mean; expectant that my days as a mum would be filled with diligently training my child in the way he should go, you know while I sang and baked *laughs hysterically*.

Nope, stickers on rugs didn’t figure in my expectant mind as I stroked my growing belly wondering if it was a boy or a girl, what colour hair they would have, who they would look like, what name we would give them.

Which made me wonder… what unexpected roles of parenthood do you do (that you wouldn’t have thought of ever in a million years)?.

What jobs do you do as a parent that make you say “I wasn’t expecting that!”

I asked my blogging community that very question and this is what they said:

Danny UK

“Becoming an unofficial spokesperson for baby wipes which we now know have the power to clean anything.”

Refined Prose

“As of last night, I am now acquainted with fishing poop out of the bath… Probably lucky I got away with it this long! Also being a *constant* source of entertainment. Like, CONSTANT. Even if it means singing in the middle of Tesco, or anything else which under any other circumstances might see you locked up. Sigh…  .”

“Cleaning poop out of hair”.  “Oh and losing any thought of privacy anywhere {eg coping with “mummy are you doing a big poo?” shouted at you in a public toilet and finding that no answer just gets the question shouted again!}.”

“Wiping snotty noses with a scarf or sleeve when you have no tissue. And being totally OK with that.”

A Mum Reviews

“Picking snot out of small noses with cotton ear buds! (Works really well though but be careful!).”

Dear Bear and Beany

“Letting my girls lick my ice cream and then I carry on eating it. Before I became a mum, the thought of this would gross me out. Now, I don’t even think about it.”

Birds and Lillies

“Removing body parts that are stuck between the cot bars, having to jump off the loo mid-poo because they also now need a poo desperately 🙂 “.

Where Roots and Wings Entwine

“Using breastmilk to treat conjunctivitis.”

Life by Naomi

“Wiping down our leather sofas to clean off sprayed breastmilk or little burp splashes.”

Beauties and the Bibs

“Cleaning baby sick of my dog before the dog tries to lick it off herself  ?.”


“My main job now is person who carries teddy, scooter and freshly picked daisies home from the park with a girl on her shoulders.”


“Sucking snot out!”.

Teddy Bears and Cardigans

“Cleaning poo off the carpet. And cushions…oh and slippers and jeans.”

The Diary of an Unexpectant Mother

“Not really a job. But I had no idea willys were so complicated before I had Oliver! ??
Removing toys from my kitchen 6,000 times a day wasn’t something I anticipated either… .”

Emmy’s Mummy

“Telling a child 1000 times a day to remove a body part from somewhere…. Or worse telling them to remove an object from a body part.”


“Telling a child not to wipe cheese on the hoover, then cleaning cheese off the hoover, closely followed by reminding that same child that plugs do not go in dogs and asking the boy child not to ride his sister like a horse, on repeat for approximately 12 hours a day.”

I also asked on my Facebook page, and this is what they said:

Stacey “Teaching my son to pee in a bush at the park cos there’s no bathrooms……and then months later having to clarify that it’s not ok to just drop your pants and pee on the grass in town cos you were to lazy to find a bathroom!”


“Teaching kids the difference between throwing something “to” someone and throwing something “at” them.”

Deborah “Reminding your daughter to use plain flour for pancakes instead of self raising! I’ve now got enough flour and eggs to make at least 3 dozen fairy cakes!!!”

Helen “Wiping snot away with my bare hands…as I’ve forgotten tissues ??.”

Some hilarious answers, some answers that had me nodding YES I’ve done that!

Parenthood is full of the unexpected roles and jobs that become almost normal, things we never, ever thought in a million years would be part of our lives, like sucking snot out of noses because our children are beside themselves because they can’t breathe as they are so full of cold  (although I’m trying to block that one out).

Oh, and lots and lots of poo and snot. A recurring theme.  Thank goodness for wet wipes.


This one thing; the reason we do the things we weren’t expecting to do for our children.   Love.

Lizzie xo

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