Thank you to Lizzie for asking me to do a guest spot on her blog, I feel very privileged, as I no longer blog myself.  So it was lovely to have the opportunity to get my current emotional state in writing once more, I had forgot how therapeutic it can be and goodness knows I need my head cleared a little just now!  There are big changes afoot.

Yeah Yeah.  The above phrase or  the other joyous one of “he will be at school before you know it” annoyed me.  I would think, yeah that is right, he is only 3 months old – 5 years is a long long long time away.  What?? What is that?? Noooooooooo!  It was devastatingly true, it has flown by, he will be at school very very soon.

I feel blind sided, yet I have known for 5 years this would happen, how am I not ready?

My baby, my first born, my wee buddy is off to school after the Summer and I feel unstable, not quite in a, best get me to hospital unstable state, but wobbly, very wobbly.

I find myself trawling through photos of him daily and tearing up, I can not bring myself to try his uniform on, for fear of a breakdown.  Egg shells under my feet and tomorrow it is his last day at nursery.

He had an awesome teacher, she got him, he loved her, they were a wee team.  Will he ever get that again, will he even like his new teacher?  I am losing sleep.

Now lets put this into perspective, my wee guy is SO ready for school and he is going to LOVE it, when we talk about it, it is always positive and upbeat and exciting.  In fact he is mostly excited about learning to read and to read recipes especially and also doing test experiments (science).

So on one hand, we are going to go full throttle into this new adventure, it will be great to seem him grow and achieve and enjoy school and again I will be with him every step of the way.

But on the the other hand, I had a realisation, this is my job isn’t it?  As his mum, to teach him to stand on his own two feet, I have made him feel comfortable and safe in his own bed, I have taught him to eat and drink on his own, I have taught him to walk, jump, skip and run, I am teaching him to recognise emotions in himself and in others so he will be ready for an even bigger world out there one day.

I am essentially teaching my boy to be independent of me and school is that first step.

I will miss our time together, cheeky wee duvet/movie days when its horrible outside, which you can do on a whim at nursery, now and again and then there is the worry, will he be happy?  What if kids are horrible to him, what if he misses me…..who will hug him?  Can I go to school and offer hugs just in case, in the middle of a lesson?  I know that is crazy but who will give him a hug?  Not having that part of me there for him for the most part of his day, gets me the most, right in the heart.I know I am not the only mum that will, has or does feel this way and I am going to just take that first day at school as one day and move onto the next.  I am not sure if I will cry on his first day, as it is a positive, new adventure of us all, but tomorrow, that is a different story, last day of nursery, last day of being a baby really, he will be my school boy soon.

But first…..7 weeks of summer and my boy all to myself!

Adam’s First Day at Nursery

 

Adam’s Last Day of Nursery

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lisa

 

 

 

Disclaimer : Opinions raised in this Open Mic series are entirely the words, thoughts & opinions of the guest author & are not necessarily the opinion of Lizzie Somerset’s Blog.  LS XO