Perfectionism. Sounds perfect doesn’t it?
A person who has perfectionism must always be top of their game. Top of everything in fact!
Their house must be spotless, beautifully decorated, their kids are polite, well dressed, destined for great things.
Throw the best parties.
They have prospects & aim high!
The problem is they have perfectionism. It’s the core. Trust me, it’s like an illness.
It won’t kill you, it will just make shame part of every day life.
People who suffer with perfectionism are not perfectionists. A perfectionist is someone who is good with the finer points, the detail.
This is much, much more complex.
Perfectionism sees what the world wants you to be, magnifies it x10000 & sets that as the target, if you can’t hit the target? Yep, shame!
The sad thing about it is the person with perfectionism will never reach the lofty heights they set themselves because the high expectations are so high they are literally unreachable!!
They want to be the best. But when the best isn’t possible & they fail again, because it’s exhausting or just totally unacheivable…there it is again, shame.
I’m popping the spotlight on perfectionism today because at the end of last year I realised I suffered with this personality trait. When I read the definition for it, everything clicked into place.
When I had my baby I wanted to be a Yummy Mummy (yanno the ones). One of those women who looked amazing, had an easy baby, well dressed, house up together, hair & make up beautifully done. I would bake & cook nutritious meals. Clean & decorate. Host coffee mornings & laugh easily with other mother’s on buggy walks.
Then I had the baby.
The dream that I would be a perfect mother crumbled. Yummy Mummy? More like Crummy Mummy!
Who knew having a baby would
1. Knock you for six.
2. Leave you feeling exhausted, inadequate & totally clueless.
For a person with perfectionism, tiredness was not an option because tiredness equals failure. If you’re exhausted, you can’t be doing it right.
Ever heard of procrastination? Perfectionism is procrastination just in a prettier word.
I’m at the point now where I know when it flares up & how to control it. But when I didn’t even know what it was or that I had it, it held me back.
If this resonates with you look up perfectionism & start on the road to combat it.
It’s not what God wants for your life.
He sent his son Jesus to die on the cross at Easter so that I can be free. He loves me for who I am, not what I achieve.
For my children He wants a Mother who is THERE & shows LOVE. Not a beautifully decorated home.
For my husband, he asks me to be a PRESENT wife, ready to hear. Not a beautifully made up dolly bird.
For my friends he asks me to PRAY & stand with them in all aspects of their lives. Not to be the centre of attention or the perfect hostess.
Let’s be real. What is perfect anyway? I know now I am enough.
Celebrate the small successes. Count your blessings. Live in the moment.
Let Grace deal with the rest.
Until the next time friends
Have a great day