Listening to the Daily Jay on my Calm app the other day, I heard Jay Shetty talk about time confetti. It’s not a term I’ve heard of before but I can relate.
Jay was talking about how the day can take you along with it, rather than you running your day. Like bits of paper being ripped up into a million pieces and swirling around you, beautiful but in total chaos. Chasing after demands and tasks set by other people doesn’t feel beautiful or fun anymore when the pieces of your day are on the floor in a mess all around you. Confetti gets EVERYWHERE, it takes me ages to find it all and piece together what I’m meant to be doing. Before you know it another week has passed, and you’re not sure what you got done of any substance. And what makes it worse is knowing it was me that ripped up the paper and threw it into the air.
I’ve decided it’s a necessity to overcome these challenges so I can help my kids to thrive with theirs.
BEING TAKEN OFF COURSE
I’ll admit to struggling at times as a mum with two kids, both with amazing strengths and challenging extra needs, on top of the usual parenting dramas! Let’s face it, as a natural people pleaser, I need all the help I can get with setting priorities and boundaries.
In the last Share the Joy I shared a video by How to ADHD and I went on to watch another as they’re so helpful!! Another time suck in itself though, all in the interests of research! haha
Jess suggested writing a list for the intentional things you want to prioritise, and a list of things you’re not going to prioritise! Hmm, maybe YouTube.
I review my day, week and month which helps me stay on track. And I write my goals and ultimate life down every day to keep it front of my mind. By writing down the things that I’m good at and the things that I’m really not (and will never be good at), I’ve prioritised doing the things that really light me up and I excel at! I’m at my most energetic when I’m encouraging others, trouble shooting, researching and writing pen on paper. I’m at my least productive when I’m doing too many small bits of admin (which always take longer than they should).
Side note: By saying you’re prioritising a certain person or work task, it’s not that other people and tasks aren’t important. It’s about prioritising who and what gets the MOST of your attention for the season you’re in and outsourcing or delegating the rest.
FILLING YOUR JAR WITH THE IMPORTANT THINGS FIRST
Have you heard the story about the professor and his students with a jar, rocks, pebbles and sand? Putting the things that are important to me at the top of my list is actually helping Jon and the kids, as it really helps prioritise the day. I’m more effective when I’m working out of my natural gifts. And I’ve found that since I opened up to Jon about my goals, dreams, wants + needs, he’s been able to fully support and offer practical help and encouragement.
BEING OPEN WITH THOSE YOU LOVE
I really struggle with cooking, because I’ve realised I have a lot of issues around food since I’ve unmasked due to my ADHD meds. I have so many food aversions!! If I can’t grab something healthy then I just won’t eat! I struggle with textures and even remembering food is an option! If I can’t see it, it’s like it’s not there.
And because I struggle with apps and get easily overwhelmed I find the online shop and meal planning really stressful!!! I hate supermarket shopping because of noise and over stimulation. This is something that is a difficulty due to my ADHD and won’t get better with practice. I know, I’ve tried for the 13 years we’ve been married! I remember taking the kids to the supermarket and not having the hands for a basket and putting a watermelon on the hood only for it to fall on the floor, people just looked at me while my autistic son had a meltdown. I’ve set up systems and they always fall down, because my relationship with food is complicated due to my condition.
If I want us all to eat well, then someone else has to take responsibility for it! And because of our honest chat, me and Jon have grown closer together because we understand each other. And it turns out Jon is a great cook!
What’s ONE THING you’re going to do to help yourself to prioritise the important things to YOU? Is there something you’ve always struggled with that doesn’t get easier? Let me know in the comments.
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